Intentional Transitions... A Life Coach's Perspective

April Showers bring May ....

2009-05-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

When we are faced with the storms that seem to come in our lives, it is hard to find the joy in the heavy downpours like we've had the last few weeks in Northwest Arkansas. The sun hides for days and the world almost seems to be floating in excess mud. A funny thing happens when life's showers come into our lives, that which is unimportant, or simply a covering is often uncovered. Just as the rain cleanses and quenches the soil and deeply soaks until a plant's roots are saturated, sometimes the storms of life wash away that which we have covered our true needs with so succinctly that we no longer feel the cool breezes and the warm sunshine.
As spring tranforms into summer, the showers come. It is a necessary season for growth. The rain showers temporarily transform our situations. It causes us to change or at least alter our routines, it allows us to gain new perspective and appreciation of the sunny days. It helps us to enjoy the lush green grass and helps the flowers bloom as well.
Each season of our life has a purpose. Are you facing a spring, summer, fall or winter in your life? It may be this season has come to prune something that is hindering your growth. It may be to wash away debris and replenish your thirst for life. It may be time to let go of old and make room for new growth to develop. It may be simply a time of new blooming and growth that often follows the dark periods.

Perspective to Ponder:

What season am I facing in my personal life? My professional life? My family life? What can I do to tend my life's garden?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

Resurrection Sunday

2009-04-12T15:13:00.004-05:00

Each of us face times that we think something within us has died. Sometimes that death is due to exhaustion, other times we slowly stop choosing to keep our heart and passions alive, choked to a joyless life one item at a time that disrespects our mind,hearts,soul and body's need for restoration.
One of the choices we have each day is to choose to live. It may mean redefining success, changing the goals of each day, or simply realigning what truly matters to us. We really do own the power to choose how to live our lives, whether it simply be taking responsibility for owning our existence or choosing to let go of that which keeps us from enjoying life.
What would you change about your daily life if you were to live intentionally? What would you keep in your palette to color your life happy? What tones would you like to add to bring value to your existence? What pictures of your daily life and home would you want to repaint, freshen, or change? We all the sole owners of our lives, are you exercising your right of ownership?

What makes your life worth living? Are you choosing to include those activities and values in your daily choices? It is worth taking time to explore this concept....and to make adjustments until you are living the life that brings you joy and peace.

Happy Easter!

Carla

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

How Do You Determine Your Deal Breakers?

2009-02-05T09:39:00.010-06:00

In life we all have boundaries we choose to live by. Sometimes those boundaries are based on family tradition, some boundaries are based on experiences we've had or those around us have had, some boundaries we accept because someone meaningful to us had those boundaries and yet others are imposed on us by laws and the powers of others.
An elder friend told me that he had three questions to determine if his boundaries when facing a decision had any "Deal Breakers" among the choices. He said he had lived by them over sixty years and they had served him well:

Would the decision line up with his moral beliefs?
Would the decision advance him at the cost of someone else?
Would the decision be a short term answer that would need revisiting or provide a long term solution? (was he picking the easy route that would cost him more in the long run)

When we adopt our own "Deal Breakers", our absolutes in what we will not do or accept done to us or others, we affirm what we believe to be right and true. Sometimes that belief alone will guide our decisions in ways that direct us to be the people we choose to be. What absolutes do you have in play in your life? Are you currently in a situation that is not honoring or breaking any of your own personal absolutes? What is the cost versus the benefits of absolutes in your own life? Do they produce peace, or cause strife?
Perception to Ponder:
What are my personal deal breakers? Do they have a bearing on the decisions I am facing currently? What weight do they have in the life choices I am making? Am I being faithful to choose what I believe is right and true in my life?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

What Do You Choose?

2009-01-08T11:27:00.003-06:00

As we go through life, the chart notes that we keep from our daily life often include a tally of things that perhaps we hope to experience again and those that we hope indeed do not have to experience again. As more days pass by we often begin to choose paths that will enhance or prohibit experiences from happening to us....and at times we even begin to plan in advance the paths that will have the preferred outcome that we perceive to be the best choice for us. Sometimes those paths were shaped by those who raised us, other times from our own experiences, even other times by some perceived set of rules we adhered to....whether valid for us or not. After all, we actively choose what we participate and believe in don't we? The life rules we chose to live by are what can best define what is best for us aren't they? Or are they? Are we authentically choosing our lives or are we allowing choices to be made for us by not making different choices?
A band director once said to a class that an oboeist would never find the lovely songs that an oboe can produce unless he/she hears it played by someone who is gifted at what an oboe sounds like. I know in my own hands, the first sounds my oboe made were more like a dying duck than a beautiful song.....but true to his words, when I had a tape of what the same exact instrument sounded like in experienced hands, my perceptions of the sounds that could come out of such an instrument changed forever.....however even more importantly, when I chose my own instrument, it became apparent that while I had learned to play an oboe adeptly, my gift, my joy, my ability was truly in another area. While well meaning, my guides had chosen what they thought best for me, but my heart path was indeed not in what they had chosen for me. Only in daring to choose the path that was my own, did I escape the mediocrity of playing an instrument that was not me!
Our experiences are our own, but in this time of changing dynamics, economy, careers and lifestyles, what part of limiting our possible outcomes are defined by our very own limiting of what the possibilities are? Are the perceived outcomes of change so rigid as our mind creates them? Is change perceived as adding difficulty to our lives more often than adding joy or as a doorway to experiencing life from a different perspective? What cost is staying the same in our skilled routines, what cost is there in exploring new ways of perceiving our daily actions and life experiences?
What life experiences do you long for? What dreams and visions of who you'd like to be or become do you allow yourself to consider? What does your mind respond to such possibilites of trying?

Point to Ponder:

Do I limit my possible outcomes for my life choices because of my perceived costs of change? Do I allow that cost of change to be truly evaluated, or is simply the price tag perceived to be always out of reach? Is it allowable to pursue change simply because the life we have experience is no longer the life we wish to experience?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

Shopping Life Choices.....

2008-12-15T06:00:00.015-06:00

To everything there is a season and for everything there is a purpose. These are ideas that have been shared over the years. This week, however, the meaning took on a new understanding. For years I had looked at a certain SUV with awe and appreciation. On the highway, when one passed, it brought a smile to my face and a "what if" line of thinking on the things I'd do if I were in it. It wasn't that it wasn't attainable, or even available, it was simply something I considered "frivilous" on my long list of things to do. Before I even noticed, it was twelve years since I first desired such a automobile and the life it represented. It became the symbol of the success others seemed to easily achieve and enjoy,but that would be somehow unattainable for me.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to take one of those vehicles on the road. At the end of my drive I realized two things that were much more valuable than the drive itself. One, that life is entirely too short to impose rules that curtail or prevent simple, attainable pleasures from happening. Two, that it's really silly to place alot of value in anything you haven't driven yourself, lives included. You see it turned out that that particular SUV drove like a bucket of rocks, it wasn't fun, alluring, or even comfortable as I'd imagined, not even the newest version. I wouldn't have enjoyed it on road trips nor even kept it most likely for over 3 months. It made me really consider the imagined life the folks had in my assumptions of their lives. Later that day I drove a vehicle I hadn't considered to be as hip or as fun, and you guessed it, not only was it fabulously fun to drive, it was beyond comfortable.....and in a few hours I was experiencing something I had only dreamed about with my friends loaded up on a cold winter's drive to see Christmas lights as we trodged through the winter weather without a hitch.
I laughed at myself all the way home for truly, I had many years of "what ifs" built into that red SUV....I had bought into the "I can't/shouldn't have it" syndrome so many of us spend our time giving power to.....and the truth was I didn't even want the one I thought I did when reality crossed the fantasy. This is not always the case though, while the exact vehicle was indeed, not the fantasy one, it turned out through test driving several choices, the dream of loading friends up and rambling on together was indeed an attainable goal, and judging from last Friday, a life activity I waited entirely too long to experience first hand.....

Questions to Ponder:

What do you dream about having or being that you do not take actions to "try out" or plan to achieve? Are the reasons you feel you can not achieve those dreams valid, or simply out of your comfort zone? What dreams could you "test drive" if you only allowed yourself to?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

Only 2% a day....

2008-11-29T05:44:00.005-06:00

If each person took at least 2% of their day to put personal needs first, what could be acomplished? It is an important thing to take care of oneself. I am not promoting selfishness – I am promoting self-care. During this crazy busy season, what would you do if you decided for 30 minutes a day you would do what it takes to put your own needs first? How would your outlook and worth be increased when your own needs are met? How would investing in your self add value to your life, to others, to the environment and community around you?

When we decide what stocks and pursuits in business are worth our investment, we align our expectations on how much our investment will bring us in gain. We recognize when companies are overextended, whether financially or physically or too diverse, do we allow the same recognition in our own daily life? Investing in yourself, defining "enough", allowing creative, fun activities, allowing rest, spending time on yourself, choosing a schedule so that your personal needs are met is a sure investment in your good future.

Point to Ponder:

How can you rearrange your life so that your personal life stock portfolio allows you to invest 30 minutes of self-care each day? What gains will you treasure when you invest in you?

To return to my website go to http://www.intentionaltransitions.net/

Being in the Moment!

2008-11-17T10:16:00.003-06:00

I have had just an incredibly good morning and I wanted to share with you! It started with the formulation of an idea. I pitched the idea and delivery concept to a local learning center - and with very few conversations, the idea is set to become reality in the beginning of 2009!

The day also started with a freeing conversation with three fellow life coaches. I am pretty convinced that you could not get more diverse thoughts than when the three of us are talking together. We are all committed to helping others, albeit we all do it very differently....the power of finding the common pathways and bridges to allow passage in our lives and in the lives of those we coach is astounding.

One thing I have been struggling with in my own life is how to keep in touch with heart connected friends. Do you know the friends I mean? The ones who you would drop everything for to be there if they needed you and the ones who would do the same for you? I had been feeling out of touch with those friends in my life - and it was bothering me.

This morning, one of those dear friends called me out of the blue. We laughed - we shared life events - we gave strength and affirmed each other and our journeys. During the conversation, my other phone rang - a potential new business client. So easy would it have been to excuse myself from my friend's call, it would be a logical thing to do for my livelihood. However, in that moment, I knew that to be true to my heart I had to stay on the call with my friend. Business, however necessary had to take its rightful place behind one my heart is given to. My conversation with my heart-friend ended naturally and beautifully, and then I could listen to the message left by the potentially new business client.

Being in the moment means recognizing the many opportunities available and intentionally selecting the one that is best at that point in time.

May you and your heart friends connect soon!

Question to Ponder:

Does my priorities plan include those people and activities that fuel the life I choose to live, not simply plan for my prosperity of business but also the prosperity of my abundant heart lived life?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

Integrity and Leadership

2008-11-03T07:44:00.004-06:00

Leadership. What value do you look for in the leaders you work with and choose to hire and/or fulfil responsibilities of leadership in the organizations you work with? The number one value I seek in a person of leadership is integrity.
What does integrity mean to you? To me, it means an upright, honest, and sincere person who fulfills their obligations and promises and makes choices based on "rightness" for the greater good, willing to sacrifice personal gain for what is best for all.
In your own life, do you have different value choices based on whether or not you are dealing in your own individual life or your business life? Does the your time clock, your location, or audience determine your commitment to integrity based decisions?
Who depends on you to be a person of integrity? How do your decisions and actions affect others? How much of your leadership effectiveness is based on your personal and professional integrity quota? How does your integrity influence the world around you? How much of your impact as a worker, individual, or family member is impacted by your personal integrity or lack of it?

Question to Ponder:
How do the choices I make daily measure on an integrity scale? Would that measurement be an accurate reflection of who I wish to be?

Points to Ponder:

How do you determine if the people you associate with are people of integrity?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

Tune in to silence

2008-10-27T06:56:00.001-05:00

There is so much noise in the world these days. Economic fears and elections seem to fill the airwaves. I feel no matter the level of the volume on the TV or radio, all are shouting for attention. I understand the importance of it all. I also understand the importance of living a life of integrity. When all the outside noise is turned off, and I sit in the silence of my heart, what is important to me then? What other perspectives are available when the noise in tuned out?

Questions to Ponder.

What can be learned from the silence?

To return to my website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

What does it mean to create a sacred space?

2008-10-20T06:05:00.000-05:00

The word sacred brings many images to my senses. I think of times when ordinary events become extraordinary because I saw them with new eyes. One such time was when I was with a group of friends. One friend was struggling with events unfolding in her life and another friend was almost giddy with how well things were going in her life. What made that moment sacred was each of us present could be fully present to what was unfolding. The tears of frustration and the energy of laughter could co-exist because each of us chose to be present to the other.

Other possible sacred events are how a parent loves a child or how friends see something about each other in a new way that causes them to take a moment to appreciate that new insight. That moment when things come together to make a new situation and you realize your effort helped cause that to happen....that is sacred!

Perspective to Ponder:

What sacred space can you discover or create in your life this week?

To return to my website go to http://www.intentionaltransitions.net/

If someone told me - - -

2008-10-12T21:53:00.003-05:00

How would you finish the sentence? Here are a few of my ways to finish that sentence!

If someone had told me twenty or even ten years ago, I would speak before a room full of people, I would have thought them crazy! .

If someone told me I would be living in Arkansas, I would have never believed them!

If someone had told me in high school that I would enjoy golf, I would have passed out from laughing too hard!

This past month, I had several different public speaking engagements and I received positive feedback. I also got par on a hole while playing golf with friends.

Whether it is growth past old fears or embracing new activities, continually learning is a great way to celebrate life!

Celebrate your life - and make your own list of "if someone told me" statements. Share them with others and post them here. I would love to celebrate with you!

To return to my website go to http://www.intentionaltransitions.net/

What Do You Value Most In LIfe?

2008-10-03T06:58:00.005-05:00

What does it feel like when what how you spend your time aligns with what you value? For me, it is the closest I can imagine to parachuting! The exhilaration of total freedom, to be at the mercy of the wind and trusting that the chute will open. To see the big picture come into detailed focus as you fall towards earth.

I value the freedom to enjoy life! I value learning and curiosity. What is of value in this moment? What attitude do I freely choose to engage when things are less than perfect? A few weeks ago, I had a really tough few days and I was very discouraged. I e-mailed a friend just to get it out of my system. The response I got helped me get back on course with what I wanted to do.

I so love those moments when I free fall into the greatness of life! I am contnually learning to treasure those sometimes more frequent moments when I recognize the beauty of a caring friend when I needed re-alignment!

Perspective to Ponder:

How do those most important to you recognize they are valued? What do you value and how do those important to you know that?

To return to my website click here

What brings you joy?

2008-09-25T06:55:00.010-05:00

The dictionary defines joy as the experience of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

I define it as nutrition for the mind and soul!

Joy comes in so many different packages. It can be from a fun call with a friend, completion of a difficult project, or moments of solitude. What is joy for you? What does it sound like? Look like? Feel like? There is a phrase-Seek joy, not balance- what does that mean to you? What are the elements that bring joy into your daily life? Joy involves total engagement of mind and soul to a moment. What activities, settings, or experiences engages your mind and soul in such a way that joy is present?

Perspective to Ponder:

How do I invite joy into my life?

To return to Intentional Transitions website go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

What must be present in your life for you to be your best?

2008-09-15T07:58:00.007-05:00

What must be present for you to be your best? What are you doing to obtain that? These are great questions to ask when you find yourself going into entitlement mentality. The next time you find yourself saying – ‘if only I could….’ is that what is necessary for you to be at your best? Then ask the all important follow up question – What are you doing to obtain what is needed? What must your attitude be in order for you to achieve your best? What beliefs do you have that hold you back?

Perspective to Ponder:

What of my own habits do I want to change?

To go to my website for more information go to www.intentionaltransitions.net

A Pivotal Week....where I've been and what's coming....

2008-09-11T16:13:00.012-05:00

Someone told me this week that they could see the passion I have for coaching and how re-freshing it was to be with someone (me) who loves their work! I do! Helping individuals step towards the bigger picture of who they are, conquering daily fears and recognizing that they are now living the life created for themselves - I love being a life coach!

This week was a pivotal week, I had great meetings, completed my 2nd project at Toastmasters and won the Best Speaker Award for the week!. Isn't it great to recognize that living in the moment is the most exhilarating way to live. My knees still knock when I present publically, but I enjoy knowing that each time I do so, I conquer the fear of it!

Tomorrow, September 12th, I am co-presenting with Angela Belford at the Rogers Small Business Conference. For anyone who may be in NW Arkansas, this conference is so worth the small investment of funds to attend.

Monday September 15th is my designated complimentary coaching session day. If you want to find out more about my style of coaching, go to the contacts page on www.intentionaltransitions.net to request a complimentary session.

Tuesday September 30th I will have a table at the NorthWest Arkansas Professional Women's Conference. This is also a great event in the area. If you happen to be in the area, please stop by my booth and introduce yourself to me. I would welcome the opportunity to meet you!

Next week on this blog, you can look forward to a new dynamic question to gain perspective....I look forward to your comments!

Do You Do What You Say You Will Do?

2008-09-02T18:26:00.009-05:00

Integrity as a person or a business is about follow through. It is about making only the promises you can keep and keeping the ones you make. Organization is a key component that supports or destroys integrity. At times the issue of follow through is simply an issue of beginning. One of the hardest parts of any task before you is simply starting the task. At times that involves setting aside the clutter in your mind (and perhaps on your desk) that keeps you from beginning that which you have promised to complete.

What mind clutter keeps you from accomplishing tasks you promise to complete? Self defeating thoughts and self talk can take alot of your personal and professional energy and time. Just as you physically take time to remove things from a cluttered, dysfunctional closet or storage area because the items are no longer of use to you, fit who you are or meet your needs, your thought life has the same need for your removing thoughts that no longer serve you.

Organizing the space between your ears is perhaps one of the hardest tasks you'll face. Yet, taking time to be aware of what you're thinking as well as to gain new perspectives help you to live authentically and own those thoughts that are relevant to your current task and support your success along your journey.

Perspective to Ponder:

What am I ready to clear out? What am I ready to organize?

Go to http://www.intentionaltransitions.net/ to find out more

What paths am I choosing this week?

2008-08-29T10:36:00.002-05:00

What invitations do I accept this week?

Why are the invitations I accept this week inviting to me? What can I say "no" to and what is the value in saying "no" to them? Living intentionally means understanding the full meaning of what we choose to do and who we choose to be each moment of our day. We accept the invitation of a two week trip some place because it appeals to us at some level. Maybe we will learn things or we actually visit where some history occured. Perhaps it is to experience the thrill of an activity or the view of a beautiful scene in a native land. Whatever it is, the common factor is that accepting the choice appealed to us- it engages us to live and experience....and learn.
What activities in your daily life this week are available to you for learning and experience? If you just want to pull the covers over your head and hit snooze- how is that choice a part of your life's journey? Is the week to come a week of rest.... Or is this an "engaged in embracing life" week?

To go to Carla Sloan's Intentional Transitions site click here